We asked Landlords for their amusing student tenant anecdotes here are a selection of the best (or the ones that are clean enough to print!!)
A very popular tenant…
A group of 4 girls moved into a house I manage recently. I knew this group would be fun but when I visited them a few days ago, they purposefully led me around the house to point out a few snagging maintenance issued they’d noticed since they moved in. I sat down in the lounge with the four girls, on the sofa facing me and they handed me a list they’d pre-prepared of things they wanted fixing.
Getting to the bottom of the list, I read out the word ‘pole’. “What’s this?” I asked the girls, “well” one of them piped up, “A couple of us are into pole dancing and we wondered if the landlord would fix up a pole in one of our rooms.” The room went quiet… “Don’t worry” she added “we’ll supply the pole!”
I looked at the girls who were looking at me, offering no clues as to whether they were winding me up or not. As if to answer my thoughts, one of them quickly added “we’re serious, we’re not messing”, “it’ll be fine” said another then added “it just screws into the floor and a wooden thing in the ceiling”.
Having listened to all of this, I asked the girls if this was an extra income strategy for them or a hobby… “oh it’s a hobby” replied the first, “but we are doing some flyering for a new club” said another who handed me a small brightly coloured piece of card. “It’s Manchester’s first student only lap dancing club- show your NUS card on the door and its £5 for a personal dance.”
I coughed politely and gave them about half a dozen reasons why I thought that it wouldn’t be possible to have a pole fitted inside the house, but I took the leaflet anyway.
I gave the landlord the leaflet and told him the story. A couple of days ago, I got a phone call from one of the girls letting me know that the pole had arrived. I had to call the landlord about something so I rang him straight away “…oh and the poles arrived” I told him, “yeah I know” he said, I’m fitting it now”
So now we are the only letting agency in Manchester (As far as we know) with a lap dancing pole in a student’s bedroom. She’s a popular girl by all accounts!
Mould with a mind of its own
I was called out to a property where the students were complaining that mould had come up through the cellar and gone inside the cooker. This intrigued me as the naivety of some students quite mind boggling and the idea that mould which travels and decides to lodge in an oven simply had to be investigated.
On arriving at the house, I was ceremoniously led to the cooker and presented with the evidence and proof of the mould which should be rectified immediately. What confronted me in the oven was what appeared to be a large green fluffy football.
On removal it was quickly identified as the remains of a cooked chicken carcass which had been put back in the oven and left to rot for several weeks. They admitted they didn’t cook very often!
The magical mystery of Hoovers
Hoovers! That mystical machine which continued to baffle the intelligent student mind. I’ve lost count of the number of times that I’ve been called out to replace wrecked Hoovers with burnt out belts, motors and ridged solid dust bags which stand up on their own when removed/
The classic and frequently stated response is “We didn’t know you were supposed to empty a Hoover. We thought the dust and dirt just vanished somewhere” I assume this is down to watching too many episodes of Star Trek where items are vaporised. Beam me up Scotty!
Humbling humidifier
Student: “My de-humidifier isn’t working”
Landlord: “Oh dear, what’s the problem?”
S: “It tries to work but chugs and stops”
L: “Does it need emptying?”
Student: “What?”
L: “Have you emptied it?”
S: “Oh…..no, do I have to?”
L: “The clue is in the name; de-humidifier, where do you think the water goes?”
Student: “Oh!” (Landlord visits to empty machine!)
Making light of it
Student: “The basement light doesn’t work”
Landlord: “That’s strange; it was fine when I checked everything a month ago. It’s not just a bulb is it?”
Student: “No we tried that”
Landlord: “Ok, I’ll come round” (Landlord visits, presses switch, light comes on)
Student: “Oh, that switch”
Here are a few tips.
I buy some light bulbs – it is your responsibility to replace these. You may want to get the new energy efficient ones because while these tend to cost a little more they last much, much longer and cost less to run.
Learn how to relight your boiler pilot light. I’m the only person who can do it in our house.
I know how to because: 1 I’ve read the instructions and 2 I follow them. Sometimes it takes a little while to light but it eventually does.
It is better to know how to turn it back on than wait in a cold houses for a few hours or days waiting for your landlord or service engineer to come out. If you’ve followed the instructions and still can’t get your boiler to work then it’s time to contact your landlord.
Remember to empty you vacuum occasionally, take the rubbish out for the bin men every week oh yes and do clean and tidy your house too.
