Living with friends can be great fun and be one of the most positive ways of developing friendships. Experience shows however there are a number of stress points so here are some tips to help avoid them.
• Have a flat or house meeting as soon as possible to establish some ground rules, division and payment for communal items, do you really want 5 different lots of washing up liquid? Set up a cleaning rota – who’s turn it is to clean the oven, loo etc and when.
• Noise, not everyone will want to listen to your music, if you like to stay up late at night remember that not everyone does – your flatmates and neighbours might be trying to sleep or study, please be considerate.
• If you intend to have a group of friends around in the evening inform your flatmates.
• Use of communal space requires co-operation – no one likes the person who hogs all the space in the fridge, piles their dishes in the sink for days or uses other people’s possessions without asking.
• Security, help look after your possessions and those of your flatmates. Keep the front door of the flat/house locked all the time and lock your bedroom door when you leave your room. Don’t leave your windows open when you’re not in if it is easy to access from outside, just be careful. Check your insurance cover. Remember, most problems arise because of lack of thoughtfulness to others, talking about it helps resolve most issues. Most disputes are relatively minor but sometimes things are more serious.
• Serious disputes, these could involve anti social behaviour, drugs, theft, harassment, assault, vandalism. Not getting on with flatmates is not usually a reason to get out of your contract but if the problem is serious or you feel threatened or forced to move out seek advice from the Accommodation Office, Students Services or the Student Union and in extreme cases information is available on the internet about mediation services. It is not always possible to like everybody – learn to get along.
• If someone moves out of your house or flat, it is likely that you will be responsible jointly with everyone else for paying for the empty room. Your landlord or agent will probably expect you to find a replacement but they have the right to check the replacement is suitable so you must have their agreement to any change. You can advertise rooms inexpensively or free via your University, privately-run advertising websites, newsagent’s windows or supermarket noticeboards. You can also use agents or the local newspaper to advertise. Ask your University Accommodation Office for advice if you need it.
